I know the pain
you are going through. I lost my own
son two years ago on November 23.
The pain is overwhelming. Words
cannot take away the pain. My heart
is with you during this sad time.
-GR, Las Vegas
|
Protecting Your Teen Against Hazing
A
Heart-to-Heart Talk with Your Child
before going away to College:
-
Discuss: First, discuss the definition of hazardous hazing with him so he understands what’s at stake and how quickly things can spiral out of control.
-
Research: If you child intends to join a group with initiation rites, he need to find out beforehand exactly what they are.
-
Plan an exit: If your child still decides to join, he needs to figure out an exit strategy, in case a harmless tradition turns out not to be. In can be extremely difficult for one person to stop a hazing ritual, but if your child is one of five or 10 new pledges
who have agreed on a course of action beforehand, they can act together to prevent injury or save a life.
-
Stay alert and don’t be first: No matter how mundane the ritual, your child should keep his wits about him. That means not getting drunk, not being blindfolded and led into areas where he cannot see an exit. He should follow his gut instinct – if he is asked to do something he feels wrong or dangerous, he needs to get out. And he should never go first in any initiation.
-
Safety first: If he or his friends are injured, they need to seek medical attention. Internal bleeding, fractures and overdoses require urgent and immediate care. No “code of silence” should preclude their calling an ambulance. They must not allow a prevailing sense of complacency or indifference to jeopardize the life of another young person or themselves. In many states, a so-called Good Samaritan Law prevails. Report it!
-
Beware psychological damage: Even after a hazing ritual is over, psychological problems may persist. If your child is experiencing sleep problems, flashbacks, anxiety, depression or intense feelings, he need to talk to a doctor, a parent, or someone in authority, including a mental health specialist through the campus health clinic, his own doctor back home, by calling the phone number on the back of his health insurance card or by calling a crisis hotline.
-
Teach your child that saving a life – including his own – is far more important than succumbing to being ‘one of the guys’, false bravado, or a near messianic drive to be included ‘in the group’. Make your child understand that courage, honest, and self-esteem vastly outweigh the merits of ‘going along with the crowd’.
|
You’ve invested far too much in raising your own child to stop now.
6 young people have lost their lives to college hazing since our son died his in a Sigma Nu fraternity initiation at Utah State University on November 21, 2008. In the wake of a general public unawareness of hazing and bullying, a lax but politically-correct prosecutorial system, and a hackneyed court-room approach to suitable sentencing of those convicted, our young people continue to lose their lives. Remind your child that, generally-speaking, their peers are far too-focused on their own identity than to be concerned for your own young person’s safety.
The only one who can safeguard their own well-being is themselves. Talk to your child today. Not tomorrow, not next week, not next month – TODAY.
-
Carson Starkey - December 2, 2008, Cal Poly Tech
-
Arman Partamian – 2009, Suny Genesco
-
Donnie Wade, Jr. – 2009, Prairie View A&M. Phi Beta Sigma
-
 George Desdunes – 2011, Cornell University. Sigma Alpha Epsilon
-
Robert Champion – 2011, University of Florida
-
Will Torrance –
2012, Vincennes University. Sigma Phi Epsilon
-
David Bogenberger
– 2012,
University of Northern Illinois
|
| |
|
